being late for work. Truth is, I might not get to work today. Why? No fucking water. None. Not a goddamned drop. Seems that there was a flooding issue in the basement apartment and my super (a nice kid, but a kid) decided at 2:00 a.m. to shut the water to the whole fucking building. Roto-Rooter (or however they spell it) just got here. Why not early this morning? My guess is that my super knew that my bastard landlord wouldn't authorize an early morning visit because it costs more. I know this for a fact, because one of the many managing agents who quit/were fired told me that they were not allowed to call for emergencies after 6 or 7 p.m., to save money for my bastard drug-addicted landlord (hey, cocaine doesn't grow on trees...oh, wait a second).
Anyhow, this is the second time in about two years that the water was turned off. First time happened around 7 p.m. on a very hot August night. You know, one of those hot sticky nights where the only thing you want to do when you get home is to peel off your wet clothing and stand under a steady stream of cool water until you feel human again? Well, no one was called until the a.m. (money, money, money), so we had no water for about 19 hours. Let me tell you, I've gone without heat for days and hate it, but nothing beats the pain of not having water. Think about it. Can't brush your teeth (although I do have emergency water in the fridge for that), can't shower (bottled water is no help), can't flush a toilet (not fun). Nothing. So, even though I took tomorrow off for a long weekend, I may have to take my last paid day off today instead, sitting in my pajamas, without water, because I will not go to the office without a shower. I'm stubborn that way. Please Mr. Housing Bubble, pop soon so that I can buy an overpriced studio with running water. Amen.
Sorry about that. I hope that the water is back on by now...
Growing up in Russia, the water shut-offs were a weekly thing. My parents lived in a 5-story apartment building. Hot water was only on between midnight and 5 a.m., so if you had to be at work early, you either had to stay up late, or get up extra early to take a shower.
Cold water too, was AWOL periodically. We had two enormous cooking pots, probably 15 gallons a piece, full of emergency water at all times. And to take showers, we had to heat them up on the stove, carry them to the bathroom, and take "scoop showers" -- soap up first, and then rinse off by constantly pouring water over yourself with a dipper, a nearly impossibe proposition, unless you posess a third upper extremity. Once finished, off to the bread line you go.
Joys of growing up in a dying Communist state...
I am not whining, sometimes I even find myself reminiscing those times with fondness. I think it is the innocence that we miss about being a child.
Alright, I am out of my Chekhoff mode now.
Posted by: Joe Schmoe | December 29, 2005 at 07:30 PM
Joe: Well about an hour after I posted my screed, the alleged managing agent went through the building and told us that they were putting on the water for five minutes before addressing the "collapsed sewer pipe." I jumped into the shower very quickly and cleaned up in a few minutes. The water actually stayed on for about 10-15 minutes (but the hot water ran out after about 5 mins). In any event, the collapsed sewer line was bullshit (if it was true, could they have turned the water back on?). And the "plumber" well, my guess is that he was a guy with a wrench. Typical for my landlord (truly a complete bastard). That said, I have both water and heat this evening. Odd to be happy for them both given that I live in NYC and pay way too much rent to consider either one of them a luxury. But that's the way things go with these crazy village landlords. I don't envy your improvised showers. When the boiler here was acting up a couple of years ago (or my landlord failed to pay the oil delivery man) we would have to opt for a whore's bath....a sink full of warm water to clean the most pressing bits. Oi. GMB
Posted by: gmb | December 29, 2005 at 11:47 PM
I also heard the sink bath referred to as "the Mexican shower". I have to apologize to the Mexicans, since I am sure it is a derogatory term.
Posted by: Joe Schmoe | December 30, 2005 at 08:52 AM
Joe: We called it the whore's bath because, it is rumored, prostitutes of a certain era would wash their naughty bits with a sinkful of hot water before entertaining a new customer. I've never heard the other term--probably an insult used by Mexico's neighbors (I'm guessing Texas). And while a whore's bath might have been useful for its intended circumstances, it was less than fabulous when it had to do instead of a shower on a work day. Fortunately, I have a large 20 quart pot that I would use to heat water for a bath. Coupled with a 6 quart pot that I would refill a few times, I could get a warm bath on days that both heat and hot water were unavailable. Not as satisfying as a proper hot shower, but it worked in a pinch. Today we have both heat and water. thank goodness for small miracles. Hope you have a fabulous New Year's, by the way, and that we all have a wonderful 2006. GMB
Posted by: gmb | December 30, 2005 at 08:44 PM
Hey, my lease came up and I got a 20% lowering in the rate !
I wouldn't even stay but it's nice and small so no section 8's just yet. Not when the gov't is going to start owning homes in the suburbs.
Can't understand how people tolerate that shit like water not working.
Posted by: joseph | February 10, 2009 at 06:59 PM