I can't believe it's not a democracy!

Berlusconi cuts to the quick:

Italy PM 'offered escort EU seat'. And why the hell not? I mean why should he have offered the European Parliament seat to a greasy politician who would do anything for money (like most of our members of Congress), when he could offer the seat to a true professional instead?

Conan O'Brien explains Sarah Palin's resignation speech:

Thanks to Mr. Slice for the link.

Oh christ, time to scrub the floors:

Item can be purchased here: Matter.  And no, it's not a floor brush, it's a clothes brush. A $95 clothes brush.  

Consulting? Is that what we are calling it now?

Former US Sen. Larry Craig opens consulting firm. I have to add, I know the job market is bad, but really, I can't see Larry going through a pile of promising resumes. Can you?

Looks like there may be a few special elections in New Jersey:

Mayors, rabbis arrested in NJ corruption probe. That sound you hear? Just a large handful of New Jersey lawyers climaxing in unison. Click the link to read the whole crazy story. Long and short, it goes like this: Take three mayors and scores of city council members and other politicians and municipal officials, fold in a handful of rabbis, a couple of cups of money laundering and finish with a dash of human organ sales. That's your recipe for a New Jersey-sized political scandal. Now for the most important question: Will HBO or Showtime be the first cable channel to offer the series? I'm going with HBO. Hell, they can just recycle the "Sopranos" team.

Talk about your niche fetishes:

Police seek Minn. man who slashes rubber balls. Seems innocuous, no? Well, um, not when you find out why he does it. MSNBC reports: Duluth police are looking for a man with a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing rubber balls. * * * Experts said he has an unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices.

I recall reading somewhere that sexual fetishes are set early on in life, around the age of two or three (which may account for people who are into wearing diapers (I'm looking at you, David Vitter) or fascinated with poo (I'm looking at you, David Vitter)). So what the fuck happened in this guy's early childhood that lead to him getting off on slashing exercise balls? And it goes without saying, but this can't end well.

Thanks to Mr. Slice for the link.

Hope they realize that the divorce will get twice as much coverage:

Same-name couple to wed after Facebook meeting. Yep, straight couple getting married and they have the same name (Kelly Hildebrandt)! Great reason to marry, no? Makes me wonder...are they both also orphans? Because one would hope mom & dad would take Kelly aside and say something. You know?

And a fun time was had by, well, me.

I'm back from bucolic southern New Jersey.  Didn't get on the internet much.  No tv news.  No newspapers.  Just family time, watching the end of season 1 of "Dexter," some bad (but good) crap on BBC America (I can't believe people will allow themselves to be photographed in their undies for an opportunity to get diet "counseling" on "You Are What You Eat").  You get the idea.  Did a little cooking.  Ok, very little.  But my brother and I baked a couple of blueberry pies under the tutelage of my mother, who is a truly fabulous baker (who no longer bakes, but that's another story).  Let's just say that the two pies did not make it past 24 hours of existence.  Just wonderful.  

So I'm back.  Hoping for some good news.  You know, Obama finally mans up and fires Geithner and Summers, hiring Joseph Stiglitz and Dean Baker to replace them (with Paul Krugman advising).  Perhaps he finally realizes Afghanistan is his Vietnam...if he let's it become that (which he decides not to), and he pulls out of there and Iraq ASAP.  Maybe he will tell Holder to uphold the Constitution and start investigations into torture and lW/Cheney's ying us into committing war crimes, as he appoints Elizabeth Warren head a commission looking into Goldman Sachs', et al., role in the financial meltdown, after telling big pharm and the insurance companies to go fuck themselves and forces the congressional democrats to start over with one option: single payer.  And et cetera.  Really, is that too much to ask for?  

Posting will be light to nonexistent in the next week.

I am finally--FINALLY--taking a few days off (well Wednesday through Monday) from work and heading south...to south Jersey and some R & R with the nieces and nephew and the rest of the family.  Just hanging by the pool, eating, watching some movies.  No heavy lifting.  I probably won't be around much to comment, either.  But I will be thinking of you.  Honest.  

Have a great rest of the week.  

Mark Morford laments:

Don't go, Sarah Palin! A nation turns its lonely eyes to your ditzy insufferable ramblings. Oh, this is a must read. Not sure you want to click? Well, here's a taste: Now that you've up and quit as America's favorite hottie milf ditzball politico moose-slashin' anti-choice anti-feminist destroyer of linear grammar, we feel adrift and lost, a nation without its favorite squeaky purple balloon.

Taibbi and Morford are two of the best writers in print. At least we have them.