Talk about your niche fetishes:

Police seek Minn. man who slashes rubber balls. Seems innocuous, no? Well, um, not when you find out why he does it. MSNBC reports: Duluth police are looking for a man with a self-professed sexual fetish for slashing rubber balls. * * * Experts said he has an unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices.

I recall reading somewhere that sexual fetishes are set early on in life, around the age of two or three (which may account for people who are into wearing diapers (I'm looking at you, David Vitter) or fascinated with poo (I'm looking at you, David Vitter)). So what the fuck happened in this guy's early childhood that lead to him getting off on slashing exercise balls? And it goes without saying, but this can't end well.

Thanks to Mr. Slice for the link.

Comments

[JDM]

Aren't these freaks cross indexed with the names of local republiKKKan committemen and xtian fundy clergy? Shouldn't be too hard to find him. As to the underlying why, WTF knows?

[bowtiejack]

There's something really creepy, I mean REALLY creepy, about Republicans/conservatives. There are gay Democrats, but when you go looking for closet cases. . . . Someday I hope someone can explain all this to me. There's got to be some sort of psychological pattern underlying it all. And these people are always angry, frightened and under attack from the liberal media, or Caesar Chavez, or some bogeyman, terrorist, latin, communist somewhere.

[gmb]

JDM: Good point. The police should just stake out the local GOP party office.
bowtiejack: Some of the closeted republicans are fighting internal demons, the church's dictate on gays, etc. But I think some of them love having this secret life. It's dangerous and that adds that special something to their play. Rove falls into the later category. Miz Lindsay the former. But I'm just guessing. GMB

[lisahgolden]

You know, I mentioned a while back that I was thinking of finding a new fetish, but this just seems so oddly destructive. Do you suppose he does crunches before slashing?

[Reamus]

I am reasonably sure you must have just had a few days off. This post was at first disturbing at least and then hysterical--we west coasters see the MNBC stuff later than you do--this has to be one very,very sick dude in the class with Vitter,Sanford, et. al.

[gmb]

lisagolden: I don't know what he does before, but I'm guessing he's doing a bit more than slashing the balls during. Ew. Yes, find another fetish that is less destructive. Apparently there are a fair number of people into feet. Just a suggestion.
Reamus: Yes, just a few days off. But remember...a friend forwarded me the link. Of course, he knew I would appreciate it. As for this miscreant, well he is certainly in the Vitter category. Sanford's fall from grace was old school vanilla adultery, but Vitter's diaper thing is right down there with Mr. Exercise Ball, no? GMB

[JDM]

I don't judge.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

republiKKKan motherfuckers.

[Reamus]

Yes, I guess I would have to give you that...Sanford maybe crazy, but not in the class of Vitter and the slasher here

[gmb]

JDM: Not you.
Reamus: Sanford was stupid and he committed the worse crime for the republicans--he got caught. That makes him a liability. That said, Vitter had his back covered by his GOP buddies. Can't figure out how he got away with it, except that the diaper story was NOT covered by the media whores. Because if it were.... GMB

[Reamus]

Well, Sanford not only got caught, but he refused to shut up about it...hasn't yet...not at all certain how Vitter got away with it...I never expect the media to get much right, just too damn lazy to go dig the story out...Michael Jackson and his seemingly endless number of MDs is more their idea of a "good" story...slime, I'd say, but nobody asked me.

[gmb]

Reamus: Paid whores. The people who really control things pay them nicely and they say that which will make their masters happy. We will never get real political reform until we address the main stream media. Never. GMB

[Spartacus]

The looks like a grown-up version of the kid that got picked on playing dodgeball. Could it be that he's exacting his revenge and expressing his inner sadist.

[gmb]

Spartacus: Now that is an interesting theory. I think you may have hit the nail on the head. GMB

[dguzman]

I'm still chucking at the phrase "unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices."

"Unusual?" How about "psychopathological?"

[gmb]

dguzman: Nothing funnier than understatement, no? GMB

[distributorcap]

something tells me vitter probably has already been down this fetish road

[gmb]

DCap: He's already into poo play, so slashing exercise balls is probably something he went through years ago. What a sick fucker. GMB

[joseph]

What scares me is that there can't possibly be just one like this. He just got caught !

I'll never look at a rubber ball the same.

[gmb]

joseph: Hahahahahahaha. That said, you are right. I remember seeing a very expensive magazine in a store about 15 years ago. Cost about $25 then...fabulous photography, heavy stock paper. The magazine's theme? Pictures of people dressed head to toe in latex. No nudity. And not athletic bodies. Basically it was fat middle-aged men in latex. Someone buys that magazine. Just saying. GMB

[Mountjoy, who else?]

"an unusual attraction to inflatable exercise devices"

As opposed to a normal attraction to them?????

[gmb]

Mountjoy: That was my original reaction too. Makes you wonder about the investigator, no? GMB