I can't believe it's not a democracy!

So I am thinking about getting a smart phone.

Don't know what I will get, but I know what service provider I WON'T be using: SPRINT.  I have Sprint with an "older plan," which apparently ended but no one told me.  I almost never use the phone, but I had to last month because of a family emergency (my nephew broke his leg in three places and had to have surgery). The one time I really needed it, after being a subscriber for 14 years, and for reasons no one can explain, I was charged international roaming charges, and a 27 minute call from Brooklyn to New Jersey cost $99.  And the reps keep acting like it's my fault because of the towers in my neighborhood and because I am on an older, discontinued plan.  No one told me that my old plan doesn't exist any more of whatever.  Not even this past weekend, when I went to the Sprint store to see about upgrading to a smart phone and the clerk asked for my cell phone number to check out my plan.  No, not even then. 

Ok, Sprint is out, which means Virgin and Credo too.  Great.  So what's left that isn't the sociopathic assholes at AT&T (they allowed the government to put equipment in a "special room" to datamine all our communication) or the assholes at Verizon?

I wonder which whore is his favorite:

George Osborne and Rupert Murdoch enjoyed private dinner in Mayfair; Boris Johnson and some actor among those who attended recent event at the media mogul's apartment. I'm guessing it's Boris Johnson, because he looks like the kind of lad who would do anything to get just an inch ahead. It's obvious that he's spent a lot of time creating his upper class twit image, but like many social-climbing wannabes, he tries just a little too hard.

Extent of parasitic activity in the UK revealed:

Secret papers show extent of senior royals' veto over bills; Court order reveals how approval of Queen and Prince Charles is sought on range of bills. That this parasitic family is ceded authority to do anything other than decide which car window they will use to wave to the masses is a fucking insult. I hope the Brits are appropriately outraged and kick this unless institution to the fucking curb. Getting people to accept that some people are breed to rule because a super special sperm met a magical egg is exactly how we get to the lack of prosecutions with the Goldman designed financial crisis. Some people are too special to prosecute. Some people must be consulted before bills may advance. What a shame that the French Revolution and the end of the Romanov family didn't send a strong enough message to these filthy self-appointed elites. They never learn.

There can be no way these two avoid jail time:

Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson to face fresh charges. And the new charges involve payment of bribes to public officials--that's a step up from approving the hacking of Sienna Miller's cell phone, don't you think? I suppose that these two could somehow avoid the slammer, but I get the sense that Coulson (David Cameron's former Communications Director) and Brooks have shat on too many people, violated too many laws, and laughed in the face of justice too many times. I suppose they thought they were invincible at one time. Sentencing is going to suck. For them. I, on the other hand, will enjoy it (as long as they don't get wrist slaps).

Oh, The Guardian also ran the following story: News Corp exposed to growing legal threat following charges for tabloid duo -- Charges for Brooks and Coulson raise prospect that News Corp could be prosecuted under US anti-bribery laws. I wouldn't hold my breath. Eric Holder is too busy busting cancer patients using medical marijuana to bother with this. But once he's done making life miserable for those with cancer diagnoses, I'm sure he'll be right on this. Then he'll tackle the criminals on Wall Street who triggered the financial crisis. Pronto!

Just waiting to collect on my $20 bet .

If Obama doesn't win tonight, then the republicans will have stolen another election. But I think the margins are too big to steal--not that they wouldn't try, but really, then it would be "let's burn this motherfucker down" time.  Still, the media act like it's a horse race, so it must be close, right?  A: If your industry makes a shitload of money in a presidential election year only if it's a horse race, then the presidential election is always going to be a horse race.  Every.  Fucking.  Time.  

Really. Turn off the tv and starve the beast.

Update: Woo-hoo....$20 richer!  Now let's watch as the democratic base holds Obama's feet to the fire and makes sure he doesn't fuck with social security and medicare.  No really, they had better fucking do that after promising they would--and implying that it could work--for four years. 

So where are the f*cking indictments?

HSBC warns money-laundering fines could top $1.5bn -- Bank braces for 'significantly higher' fines from the US authorities as it sets aside further $800m . Earth to Obama: The bank executives won't stop laundering money until they know that you are serious enough to indict. If Eric Holder won't do it, suggest he retire (AGs often do after one term), and replace him with someone who will. And yes, I know the president only nominates, etc. Enough. Obama could set the tone. Instead, of telling the bankers that the will be investigated and prosecuted, he refers to some of the biggest banking criminals as "savvy businessmen." It's true, I guess, if you think buying off the politicians is savvy. I think it is merely criminal.

A: Professional Courtesy!

Q: Why did the TSA hired a defrocked priest without a background check? I'll be here all week.

Thanks to JDM for the link.

Coddled parasites recoil at being observed:

Kate topless photos: French police raid Closer magazine offices. First, who wants to see her mean little tits, anyway? Second, the idea that "Princess" Kate has special life affirming tits that can only be seen by "Prince" William make me want to throw up. Privacy exists only for the rich? For the rest of us, it's all close circuit tvs and mandatory genitals gropes, no? Well, she married into a cartoon family and accepted her role as waving lady in waiting, so stop it. And third, if I were French I would be howling at the idea that one fucking Euro (soon to be franc, again) was spent on this fucking stupid pretend "crime." The real crime is that monarchy, even in this flabby, anemic form, still exists.

Have hookers give out free donuts.

So I got off the ferry this morning and knew not to walk near Wall Street to go to work, because the cops were going to be thickly planted around the area to intimidate the Occupiers exercising their first amendments rights. Straight away I could see more cop horse trailers than I've ever seen at any time--they like to use cops on horseback to intimidate a crowd. I wonder if the cop hierarchy realizes that one of the most significant things the Occupy movement has done is make people like me suspect cops and actively despise them. In fact, this weekend my nieces had me watch "The Hunger Games," and I was happy to see that the kids are being taught how ugly fascism is and that the film showed the thug cops for who they were--a bunch of faceless thugs in uniforms, crushing the people for the benefit of the powerful. It's an important lesson.

The very next day, my brother came across this great story about a man who expressed his disgust with a traffic ticket in the most exquisitely fabulous way: Man folds cash payment into origami pigs, gives to cops in donut boxes. Hats off to you, Bacon Moose.

Finally, disgusted at seeing my tax dollars being spent by assigning legions of cops sit on their (increasingly) fat asses when not actively intimidating my fellow citizens, I thought to myself, hey, what could one do to distract the cops at a protest? A: See the title of this post.

Paper of record, my ass:

Correspondence and collusion between the New York Times and the CIA. I wouldn't use a copy of the New York Times to wipe my ass. That said, there are only two reasons to even glance at it: (1) Paul Krugman and (2) Maud Newton's contribution to the Sunday magazine.