I can't believe it's not a democracy!

Who would have thought that building a big city in the middle of the desert wasn't a good idea?

Las Vegas Nervously Watches The Water Drop. Why are they surprised? The mob (and others?) picks a spot in the middle of nowhere to be the place where they can operate casinos. It's in the middle of a desert. They build an airport, develop a strip and light up the whole place like a giant red light district. Then, after incredible and unsustainable growth--including suburban housing with green lawns (in a desert!) and golf courses--people look around and realize that they might not have enough water to keep the place green. Or lighted. This shouldn't be a surprise. James Howard Kunstler has been predicting this for years. He's not looking like a unrepentant pessimist now, is he?

Link via Atrios.

One-note asshole tries to grab another 15 minutes:

Joe the Plumber to Become War Correspondent. Yep, Joe the Plumber (who was not a plumber nor named Joe) is going to Israel as a war correspondent for "Pajama Media TV." Yes, that Pajama Media. Apparently they still exist. In any event, Joe (aka Samuel J. Wurselbacher) is going to Israel to "spend 10 days covering the fighting." He says that he wants to let "Israel's 'Average Joes' share their story." I'm sure his coverage will be riveting. I'm also certain that after this gig he'll try to get on "Dancing with the Stars," and then, mercifully, disappear into the night, never to be heard from again. God willing.

Stupid cop suspended for having no taste:

Chicago cop suspended for demanding free Starbucks. And justice is served.

I must add that Starbuck's "coffee" is the most overrated, overpriced cup of crap you can buy. You see, they over roast their beans to give them that caramel overtone--that's a sign that the beans are burnt. Still, if you like that taste, here is how you can make it at home: brew a pot of coffee in your coffee maker of choice, leave the pot on a burner for 20 minutes, enjoy! Now for those of you who want a truly lovely cup of coffee, try Costa Rican beans. They have a natural, subtle spiciness and a smooth finish that is unparalleled.

Americans easily intimidated by telephone pollsters:

Bible is America's favorite book: poll. Because I simply do not believe that most Americans are so devoted to the bible. Hell, I haven't read it cover to cover (because it's christian propaganda, that's why), yet I remember the stuff about Jesus caring for the sick, the poor, the outcast. I guess they skipped over that in the new American version, no?

Short on funds, but addicted to shiny shit? Here's something that can help during the lean times ahead:

If You Can't Buy It, Rent It. And the teaser line for this piece (of crap) reads: One upside of the down economy is more chances to rent high-end items on the cheap. Yes, the economy is going down the crapper, our country owes every other fucking nation state a fortune, our jobs are being shipped overseas, for good, but at least we can rent all the "bling-bling" (yes, they did use that term) we want. Yahoos. That reminds me, it's time to reread Jonathan Swift's "Gullivers Travels," though I wonder if it will seem satiric this time around.

Why was this story assigned? Why was it reported?

Girls who feel unpopular may gain weight. No doubt tomorrow's headline will read: children of schozophrenic parents may suffer more frequently from depression. But that's just a guess.

And the federal reserve springs into action:

Fed officials plan to crack down on abusive lending practices. The fed isn't exactly ahead of the curve, are they? I mean this might have been helpful, say two or three years ago, but now? Sure, a few people might be saved, but it smells like window dressing. Especially since the fed managed to quickly jump to the aid of those they actually give a shit about--the banks, hedge funds and other players that securitized the subprime mortgages and spread around a world of worthless paper--by cutting interest rates and introducing more liquidity into the market. So, the rich get the meat, while the average joe gets the bone. Same as it ever was.

Another dispatch from the Department of the Fucking Obvious:

U.S. voters may face outbreak of "campaign fatigue". May? I hit a wall weeks ago. Wake me up when Gore announces.

Can republicans name one thing that W hasn't turned to shit?

I'm sure there were those who would point to the fabulous profits made by large corporations and crow "the economy is growing!" Not any more: Economic Growth Slows to a Near Halt -- Economic Growth Slows to a Near Halt in First Quarter in Worst Showing in 4 Years. Now that W isn't making his masters the kind of obscene profits they enjoyed in the last five or so years, will they be motivated to boot his skanky ass to the curb? Yes, I know, his masters make money in any economy. Thank jeebus for those no-bid contracts. That's W's job insurance.

The other shoe drops:

Imus In The Mourning. CBSNews.com reports: CBS today announced its decision to cease broadcasting the Imus in the Morning radio program, effective immediately, on a permanent basis.

So who's next? Because Imus got nailed while others have seemingly avoided the pink slip for being racist, bigoted assholes (except for that scumbag Michael "Weiner" Savage). As much as I would celebrate it, I doubt that Rush Limbaugh is in danger. First, he seems teflon coated, as he has avoided getting his fat ass canned despite his hateful speech and run-ins with the law. More importantly, he makes too much money for his masters. But what about Glenn Beck? He's vicious, nasty and his numbers suck--almost as bad as that tight-assed twit Tucker Carlson. All I'm saying is that if Beck has half a brain (doubtful), he should be saving as much of his paycheck that he can.