I can't believe it's not a democracy!

Get out your handkerchiefs, part IX:

Tiffany & Co.'s profit tumbles on higher costs, lower demand. Good god, is Gucci next?

Another sign of the times:

Our Love Affair With Malls Is on the Rocks. I'm torn, naturally. On the one hand, I don't like to shop and I particularly hate to go shopping in a mall. I find that my senses become overloaded very quickly, and soon I am racing from point to point, dodging the strollers who seem really happy staring at windows filled with shit. On the other hand, like it or not malls are part of our infrastructure, and they have so thoroughly destroyed so many main streets that when they fail, where will the retail employees go? I hope that the painful process that is the end of suburban sprawl--because I think it has to end--will result in something better at the end. But the process itself, it's not going to be easy. We are in for a world of hurt for the next few years at the least.

Just say I'm busy, 'kay?

Clinton says he's ready to campaign for Obama. Because if you were Obama, would you want this?

Rove Signs on With

Clinton Campaign. Yes, it's snark, but it's the Onion level snark. Not sure? Here's the first two paragraphs: In a stunning yet somewhat predictable turn of events this morning the Hillary Clinton campaign announced the hiring of soon to be resigning Bush aide and master strategist, Karl Rove. Rove had appeared on a number of news and opinion shows over the past weekend during which he declared Clinton to be the likely Democratic presidential candidate, and one whom he described as "fatally flawed".

"Our curiosity was ultimately piqued by what Mr. Rove considered the Senator's fatal flaw," stated a Clinton campaign staffer. "The desire to see Ms. Clinton as the ultimate nominee is one which we of course have in common, and his would most certainly be a valuable insight."

Hard to tell what's a joke nowadays, isn't it?

Max sent this

gem to Mr. Slice (and others) because he is aware of Mr. Slice's general taste in women. Well, unbeknownst to Max, Mr. Slice has recently stated that Brittney is trashy and that he prefers more wholesome girls like Jessica Simpson ("she has a great voice," he gushed) and Christina Aguillera (I would check the spelling for Christina's surname, if I gave a shit). So it looks like ebay will have one less bidder. Now, when they sell Natalie Portman's flopsweat....stand back.
Update: Mr. Slice writes "you misspelled Britney, Aguilera, AND Jewel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [I killed the Jewel reference] And I object to the characterization of my general taste in women!!!! Slice demands a retraction!!!!!!!!!
I'll get right on it.

A certain workmate is adamant:

There will be no snow tomorrow, he says. But he refuses to shake my hand on a friendly $300 bet (I say there will be snow tomorrow). Truth is, there are two reasons why I hope I am wrong: 1) I am over this cold snowy winter crap and 2) imagine how he will feel tomorrow if he is right!

By the way...

my workmate (who goes by the title "King Slice" today because he called the Iowa results) was (is?) a Kerry supporter. Did I mention that he is a huge Britney Spears fan? Enough said.

My workmate, renaissance man

At least that is what he claims, because he brought in his own lunch (see, he can "cook" and do other stuff, that makes him multi-faceted). Anyhow, he just stopped by to show me the "sandwich" he made for lunch: pepperoni, on a stale kaiser roll with vinegary jarred peppers. No cheese, no condiments. And he noted, with relish, that the sandwich is "squishy."

Britney 'totally believes in

sanctity of marriage'. Good thing. My workmate can now listen to her music knowing that she isn't trying to undermine American values. And maybe, just maybe, he has a shot at becoming Mr. Britney Spears?

What will Fox t.v. offer

next? My guess: put 10 strangers on an island, enough food for maybe half of them and give them all pointy sticks. Sort of Survivor meets Lord of the Flies.