The Vatican has a chief astronomer?
Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens. Actually, when you think about it, the Vatican is being consistent. That said, does anyone else think that Galileo is spinning in his grave?
Mark Morford has some ideas: Cool ideas for your pathetic stimulus check. Morford writes: Your "economic stimulus" check is meaningless, an empty gesture, a trifling crumb of recompense after robbing you blind via insane gas prices, infrastructure meltdowns, failed wars that aren't really wars. Thanks for the bogus check, Dubya, now where can I buy a sliver of our missing national dignity?
So, then. Here are your bloody nickels, America. What will you do with it? Hit the Vegas strip? Stock up on water and freeze-dried meats and a nice bowie knife in preparation for the apocalypse? Not bad, not bad. Of course, you could also spend it on ...
* * *
... a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV, three bottles of Stoli Vanilla, a large hammer. Mmm, the Great American Fantasy, playing the role of a macho Eastern European thug anti-hero who lives in the seedy underworld of Hellhole City, all broken glass and bad skin and silicone boob jobs and grunged-out everything, killing and stealing and blood splattering and fire, all part of a new and rather insane blockbuster game that employs an astonishing, hyperrealistic animation engine that makes the characters' movements so frighteningly lifelike that when you beat down that whore or shoot that cop in the face with an Uzi you can actually feel his facial bones pulverize as his body slams into the pavement and Death itself hovers just over your PS3, eager to go multiplayer on you.
... iPod Touch, new Portis-head album, bottle of absinthe. Because nothing says modern American irony better than listening to the most beautifully bleak and gorgeously despondent album of the year on the most sleek high-tech consumer gadget currently made, all while slowly lowering your brain cells down into the black dungeon of bittersweet anise-flavored bliss. Or maybe that's just me.
Oh, there's more. Morgord graciously provides 10 possible uses for these tawdry bribes. But his last suggestion is the one that most of will opt for: party supplies for the huge bonfire and cleansing ritual we'll have at the beach on 01-20-09. I mean, obviously.
Obviously doesn't even come close. Click the link and read the whole thing. Because its Mark Morford, that's why.
by Spartacus. To do a minimalist memoir. Ok, I did it already in comments to DCup's fine example, but I will play. Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!
So here's my memoir: Always question authority, because we must.
I'm not going to tag five more blogs, because I think everyone I link to has been tagged already, but feel free to write your own memoir in the comments.
To those naysayers who think blogs serve no purpose, I present the following: My friend John noticed a furry friend in his apartment a few days ago (a mouse, not a rat...thank goodness). Anyhow, he got a humane trap, but it did squat. Today, he saw three mice. Turns out that his landlord is renovating the apartment under his, and the mice are looking for a new home. So I told John that I read a www.apartmenttherapy.com (a blog about design/apartment living) post about how to get rid of mice. A number of commenters suggested a simple solution. Namely, you get the cardboard tube from a roll of toilet paper. Put a bit of peanut butter at the end of the tube. Place the tube on the edge of a table or kitchen counter, with a tall (and empty) trash can under the tube. John steadied the tube by lightly tapping in two nails on either side of the tube so it wouldn't roll around. He set the trap around 8:00 p.m. this evening.
End result? John now has three confused mice running around in the trash can. Fuck, it works. And I get a free drink. The internets are our friends.
Fran I Am and Tengrain, my evil twin, for throwing me some linking love, and extend the love by noting that they are two bloggers who deserve to be read with regularity. But I'm not stopping there, the following blogs also deserve an E for Excellent blogger award for their political insight, snark and/or social observations:
Spartacus
Sorghum Crow
The Commander
Distributor Cap
DCup
Fairlane
Morse
Dr. Monkey Monkerstein
And, of course, my friend Maud Newton, because everyone loves books (and the drama that is southern family history).
I've had a glass of wine, so let me apologize now for those I have forgotten (I blame the Roja).....
because one of my filthy co-workers has given me a head cold that began late last evening. Was it filthy old man down the hall who doesn't cover his mouth when he lets loose with a very wet sneeze? Perhaps it is the younger lad who also refuses to cover his mouth and has a sneeze that is best described as sonic boom-esque. Perhaps it is the troll, who has add open mouth coughing to her typical repetoire of screaming at her sister over the phone, loud moaning and, of course, prodigious farting. I don't know who it is, but it is definitely one of them.
Hope to be up for posting later today. Avoid your diseased co-workers and neighbors. Fucking vectors of infection.
Update: So I cam home around 2:30 and slept, sort of, for three hours. Feel about the same--not too bad, but a bit tired and very congested. Better than a co-worker who got the flu. Sounded horrible and, apparently, it's spreading. She told me that her doctor got 25 calls on the day she called with patients describing the same exact symptoms. It's the height of flu season, folks, so take care of yourselves. I'm going to stay at home and avoid the diseased this weekend. Wash your hands....constantly!
For McCain, Self-Confidence on Ethics Poses Its Own Risk. Yes, the Keating Five scandal is revisited, but there's more. What more? Oh, like a past (or is it just past) possible sex scandal (yes, I just threw up a little in my mouth). The NY Times reports: Early in Senator John McCain’s first run for the White House eight years ago, waves of anxiety swept through his small circle of advisers.
A female lobbyist had been turning up with him at fund-raisers, in his offices and aboard a client’s corporate jet. Convinced the relationship had become romantic, some of his top advisers intervened to protect the candidate from himself — instructing staff members to block the woman’s access, privately warning her away and repeatedly confronting him, several people involved in the campaign said on the condition of anonymity.
When news organizations reported that Mr. McCain had written letters to government regulators on behalf of the lobbyist’s clients, the former campaign associates said, some aides feared for a time that attention would fall on her involvement.
Mr. McCain, 71, and the lobbyist, Vicki Iseman, 40, both say they never had a romantic relationship. But to his advisers, even the appearance of a close bond with a lobbyist whose clients often had business before the Senate committee Mr. McCain led threatened the story of redemption and rectitude that defined his political identity.
I must note that the potential sex scandal is not confirmed in the article, rather the focus of the report is on his advisers' fears when he ran for the republican nomination in 2000. Interesting that someone, presumably an adviser, is chatting freely with the NY Times, but these are interesting times. So click the link if you want a refresher on the Keating Five, and do check out the photo of Ms. Iseman. Classy.
And one last thing, would you agree that the following quote could be called, at best, faint praise: “He is essentially an honorable person,” said William P. Cheshire, a friend of Mr. McCain who as editorial page editor of The Arizona Republic defended him during the Keating Five scandal. “But he can be imprudent.”
Man, if McCain's buddy thinks that he is "essentially" honorable, what the fuck does his enemies think of him? I guess we will find out real soon.
Update: So after I posted this item I called my friend John, and in the course of chatting with him the thought that was in the back of my head popped to the front: why is the NY Times reporting this story now? The primaries aren't over and McCain does not yet have the number of delegates that he needs, so is this an attempt to scuttle him before the general? If so, for whom? The only two republican candidates left standing with McCain are Huckabee and Ron Paul, and I can't see the powers that be wanting either one of them to be the candidate, so what gives? That is, given how easily the NY Times has caved to this administration's demands that they not run a story (NSA illegal wiretapping anyone?), why are they suddenly reporting an otherwise valid story (i.e., McCain has some ethics skeletons in his closet) now? Something's up, that's all I'm saying.
Clowns 'universally disliked' by children. I remember going (grudginly) to the circus when I was a kid and thinking that the clowns were the suckiest part of an overall sucky experience. Thing is, I don't recall being overly concerned about sexual predators, but I do remember thinking that clowns were very crrepy, marginal grown-ups who should be avoided at all costs.
That said, as this story was being passed around today, it was clear that the feeling was universal: clowns are fucked up. But the best response ever came from my friend Maud, who wrote the following: I once met someone who had a clown for her sixth birthday party. He shot himself in front of everyone and died.
Um, well, at the least the party memorable. There's that.
to implement Operation Quisling, a bold plan by which the democratic leadership strong arms its members into giving the chimp every fucking thing he wants in the upcoming Iraq funding bill: Bush beats Nixon’s disapproval ratings.
If the democratic leadership can't fucking figure out that W is hated and should be ignored by now, then W could go to 0% approval and it won't make a fucking difference. And if you are feeling a little edgy today, call Chuck Schumer's DC office ((202) 224-6542) and tell the staffer that you think Chuck is a fucking douchebag. Yeah, it's one of those days.
Link via Atrios.
Devices Enforce Silence of Cellphones, Illegally. The New York Times reports: One afternoon in early September, an architect boarded his commuter train and became a cellphone vigilante. He sat down next to a 20-something woman who he said was “blabbing away” into her phone.
“She was using the word ‘like’ all the time. She sounded like a Valley Girl,” said the architect, Andrew, who declined to give his last name because what he did next was illegal.
Andrew reached into his shirt pocket and pushed a button on a black device the size of a cigarette pack. It sent out a powerful radio signal that cut off the chatterer’s cellphone transmission — and any others in a 30-foot radius.
“She kept talking into her phone for about 30 seconds before she realized there was no one listening on the other end,” he said. His reaction when he first discovered he could wield such power? “Oh, holy moly! Deliverance.”
I trembled when I read this, as I thought about how different my next ride on Amtrak could be. Deliverance, indeed. But, of course, the fucking thing is illegal. Still, I can dream.
Thanks to John for the link.
