I can't believe it's not a democracy!

Winning over hearts and minds? Not fucking likely:

US Afghan Bibles 'confiscated'. Aljazeera.net reports: The US military has confiscated Bibles that Christian US soldiers in Afghanistan had apparently intended to give to local Muslims, a military spokesman has said.

Seems that Al Jazeera broadcast footage showing troops preparing to convert the Afghans. According to story: The video, shot about a year ago, appeared to show military chaplains stationed in the US air base at Bagram discussing how to distribute copies of the Bible printed in the country's main Pashto and Dari languages.

Blah, blah, blah. Long and short, converting muslims may be the goal of some of these soldiers, but it conflicts with their fucking job. Enough. Let's hope that Obama insists on a more professional military that doesn't tolerate this shit.

Thanks to Jim for the link.

Well, it looks like the UK has something in common with the U.S.:

Spiritualist minister found guilty of murdering makeup artist wife. You see, he killed her because she discovered that he had been having an affair and calling gay chatlines. Looks like we aren't the only country dealing with rogue religious leaders.

Yet another religious leader caught with his dick in the wringer:

FBI: Evangelist Tony Alamo arrested in child sex investigation. And according to the story, Alamo is also a convicted tax evader. Do click for the photo of the soon-to-be convicted Alamo and his lovely wife. Is it me, or does he have sex offender written all over his smarmy face?

Oh dear god, make them stop:

Happy Mother's Day: Woman pregnant with 18th child. Yes, it's the fucking (literally) Duggars again. Seems they don't have enough kids and decided to try to see if they can produce another. And the reason for their excess (surely it's not the residuals from the Discovery Health channel)? Here it 'tis: [Mrs. Duggar] and her husband, Jim Bob Duggar, said they'll keep having children as long as God wills it.

Christ, Mrs. Duggar's vagina must be a wide as the Holland Tunnel. Remember that scene in the beginning of Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life?" Yeah, that one. Personally, I'm waiting for the day when the smarter kids run away and write a tell all book. Of course, that day may never come given that the kids are all home-schooled. But surely there is at least one of them who gets up every morning, looks around and thinks "what the fuck?"

Man of god, my ass:

Small Church's Obama Sign Causes Big Controversy. WYFF.com reports: The sign in front of a small church in a small town is causing a big controversy in Jonesville, S.C.

Pastor Roger Byrd said that he just wanted to get people thinking. So last Thursday, he put a new message on the sign at the Jonesville Church of God.

It reads: "Obama, Osama, hmm, are they brothers?"

Byrd said that the message wasn't meant to be racial or political.

"It's simply to cause people to realize and to see what possibly could happen if we were to get someone in there that does not believe in Jesus Christ," he said.

And then Pastor Byrd claims that he doesn't know if Obama is a muslim, while acknowledging that Obama has said that he is not a muslim. We are going to see a lot more of this bullshit if, as I assume, Obama wins the democratic nomination. The question is this: how many people buy this crap? I want to believe it's less than 20%, but I just don't know.

Thanks to Mr. Debakey for the link.

The Nazi Pope enjoys his birthday:

White House crowd sings 'Happy Birthday' to pope. And then he made a wish and blew an altar boy.

I should note that it is also my mother's birthday today. She's 70 years old. Yeah, that's a big number. And she's catholic, just like the pope. Except, of course, she shows her faith by going to church every weekend and on high holy days, rather than by covering up wide-scale pedophilia amongst priests. 

Nazi pope gives Oscar-worthy performance:

Pope says he is 'ashamed' of clergy sex abuse scandal. Really? This obviously is a new found feeling for the Nazi pope, because he didn't seem ashamed when he directed the Vatican's efforts to hush up the whole fucking pedophilic mess.

Pope will address sex abuse scandal during his U.S. visit

by responding with a common Italian hand gesture. Just because the Nazi pope is German doesn't mean he didn't pick up some local customs (and altar boys) while biding his time at the Vatican. And I can't wait until his visit to my fair city. Fortunately, it is unlikely that any official events will be occuring downtown, but if I were you I would expect that there will be long lines to get into The Spike*.

*It's uniform night every night at The Spike.

Vatican lists "new sins," including...

pollution and genetic modification. So, you may be asking, did the new sin list include, say, hiding pedophiliac priests who molest innocent children? Oddly, there was nary a mention.

Moses was stoned when he set Ten Commandments,

researcher claims. What I want to know is how is it possible that Jesus and Moses and all the other folks were tripping on the bark of the acacia tree or whatever and 2,000 years later we have the most uptight, controlling assholes claimimg to be the leaders of Jesus' vision? Remember that guy in high school who was nice enough and all, but you didn't want to get sucked into a conversation with him because, well, he smoked so much pot that he forgot about commas and periods? He would have been Jesus' favorite apostle. Just saying.