I can't believe it's not a democracy!

The economy claims another victim:

Lou Dobbs to Quit CNN. Ok, the economy isn't to blame....he quit. Or did he? While Lou says he is leaving and considering "a number of options and directions," "Jonathan Klein, the president of CNN/U.S. said in a statement that 'Lou has now decided to carry the banner of advocacy journalism elsewhere.'” Hmmm, "advocacy journalism?" Sounds like CNN got tired of having to defend Lou's obvious anti-immigrant asshole opinions.

But this sentence is what makes me think Mr. Dobbs was shown the door: “All of us will miss his appetite for big ideas, the megawatt smile and larger than life presence he brought to our newsroom,” Mr. Klein said.

We will miss his appetite for big ideas and megawatt smile? Dude was fired. No worries, I'm sure he'll be picked up by FOX in a New York minute. After all, FOX seems drawn to CNN's sloppy seconds (see Glenn Beck).

Link via Atrios.

Why you should never mess with Catholic school girls:

Flashees Foil Philly Flasher.CBS reports: Some high school girls have taken revenge on a suspected serial flasher.

There'd been several reports of a man exposing himself to students from St. Maria Goretti's High School for Girls in Philadelphia. The man would hide behind a van and wait for girls to walk by. Then he'd jump out, expose himself and run away. Police told the Philadelphia Inquirer he was suspected of flashing 13 victims in seven different incidents.

Now anyone who has lived in Philadelphia for a while is familiar with St. Maria Goretti's High School for Girls. Apparently at year's end, they remove their shoes and socks and frolic in the fountain across from the cathedral. There are many men in Philadelphia who live for that day. But their fantasies about catholic school girls probably don't end the way it did for the flasher. You see, the girls decided to fight back:

[A] group of about 20 students from St. Maria Goretti chased the suspected flasher down the street, wrestled him to the ground and held him there until police could take him into custody.

That sick fucker got a cut lip and a lesson he will never forget. Kudos to the girls at St. Maria Goretti.

No worries. I'm sure he'll make lots of new friends in prison:

Ex-NY police chief Kerik guilty. If the case went to trial, Kerik could have faced up to 61 years in prison. Under the plea, the prosecution suggested he be sentenced to between 27 and 33 months in jail. He also has to pay restitution. More important, I don't think he's going to find a world of offers waiting for him when he's released. He rose higher than he ever should have, and those days are over. It's his own damn fault. Justice will be served.

One day you're banging some broad in a free high-end apartment overlooking Ground Zero and the world is your oyster. But then things go seriously wrong:

Bernard Kerik Is Sent to Jail. Yes, karma caught up to sleazy Bernie Kerik. Seems that a federal judge revoked his bail in a criminal case charging him with conspiracy and fraud charges. It seems that the judge, Stephen C. Robinson, felt that Kerik couldn't be trusted to honor a consent order prohibitng him from revealing confidential information. And the reason Judge Robinson thought that Kerik was not trustworthy? Um, because Kerik sent an e-mail to the head of his defense fund that included confidential information. Ouch. And before he revoked the bail, Judge Robinson said that Kerik was a “toxic combination of self-minded focus and arrogance, and I fear that combination leads him to believe his ends justify his means.”

Bernie always thought he was above the law. And why not? His bestest buddy was Rudy Giuliani, then mayor of New York, and Giuliani loved him so much that he made this thug Police Commissioner, named The Tombs, a famous lower Manhattan jail, after him, and suggested Bernie to the Chimp to lead the Department of Homeland Security. Sweet. But now the law has finally caught up and Rudy isn't exactly sitting by his side in the court room, the Bernard B. Kerik Complex has been renamed and Bernie is looking a long prison sentence.

Wow, karma really is a bitch.

And an aside: When I went to jury duty some years back, I walked under the Bernard B. Kerik Complex sign and thought "I wonder how long it will be before that sign comes down." Whoa, I'm a prophet.

Thanks to John for the link.

My friend John believes that conservatism (or what passes for it now) has crested and has nowhere to go but down.

I want to believe him, but when I hear about people like that asshole Santelli screaming about the "losers" who are losing their homes and how he is heralded as the voice of America by that douchebag Brian Williams, or when I am reminded that Limbaugh is heard in every part of the country but liberal talk radio hosts can't be heard in Washington DC, for fuck's sake, I wonder. Then I read this blog post by Krugman: Ending welfare as we know it.

Long and short, Krugman links to a Wall Street Journal article about how hard it is for the roughly 3,000 political appointees who served W to find work now that they are out of the White House. Krugman notes that the usual route for these micreants is that loyalty is rewarded. Namely, "[b]e a loyal soldier, and you will be taken care of — through what’s commonly referred to as 'wingnut welfare.'" Hence Scooter Libby's Hudson Institute job after he was indicted for his role in the treasonous act of outing CIA covert agent Valerie Plame. Sadly, things aren't working as they have in the past. Says Krugman: But it appears that wingnut welfare is breaking down when it comes to former Bush officials. Is this the beginning of the end for movement conservatism?

You know that these young republican assholes thought they had the world by the balls. God knows they probably lorded over everyone and anyone. But unless they are really well-placed--i.e., they have the right surname or they know where a really dangerous body is buried--well, they're fucked. Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch. I wonder how they will feel about their party after the rejection letters pile up.

Get out your handkerchiefs, part VII:

goodbye dubai. Smashing Telly writes: Short of opening a Radio Shack in an Amish town, Dubai is the world’s worst business idea, and there isn’t even any oil. Imagine proposing to build Vegas in a place where sex and drugs and rock and roll are an anathema. This is effectively the proposition that created Dubai - it was a stupid idea before the crash, and now it is dangerous.

Click the link to see what kind of people were drawn to Dubai. Really, it is so worth the read. In any event, the salad days are gone and now, apparently, foreigners are leaving, and quickly. As in leaving their cars behind at the airport with the key in the ignition (3,000 so far), because under Dubai law a borrower can be put in a debtors prison if he defaults on his mortgage.

I've been waiting for the inevitable crash of the Dubai real estate market for a while. Sure, the rich want to be safe from, well, the great unwashed masses (i.e., us), but why in the world would someone plop down a couple of million dollars to live on an overpriced box in a country that presumably follows some of the strict tenets of Islam? I mean, for christ's sakes, those assholes could have bought a fucking estate in southern France. That said, watching the Dubai bubble burst, while not a surprise, is satisfying. Had to say it.

Looks like the Prop 8 assholes want to kick the gays out of the closet so they can hide in it:

California gay marriage foes want donors to maintain anonymity so the evil gays can't "harass" them. The article mentions death threats and delivery of envelopes containing "white power" (i.e., talcum powder), but the only thing these assholes care about is money. So thank you, Prop 8 assholes, by filing this suit you have shown that the best way we can fight back is by revealing you for what you are and making sure that those who care don't buy your crap or services. Starve, motherfuckers.

What's that smell? Just the veil of stink floating away from our friends down under:

Australia sweeps Rudd into power. Yes, John Howard, W's Austrian friend, was handed his ass after 11 years in power. What makes things even sweeter is that Howard is "seriously in danger of losing his own seat" (the votes are still being counted), so not only will he not be PM, his political career may be entirely over. At this point, he probably could not be elected dog catcher, which is as it should be.

So, on Tuesday evening we celebrate at Lederhosen (39 Grove St.). The celebration starts at 7:00 p.m. First beer is on me, except that Australians drink free. Yes, I am bringing a few extra dollars. Hope to see you then.

Oh how the once mighty have fallen:

Ex-NYC top cop surrenders to feds. Watch as Rudy Giuliani attempts to distance himself from his former friend. Bernie who? Why Bernie Kerik, Rudy, you know...the man you recommended to the chimp to be our Homeland Security Director.

The indictment hasn't been officially revealed yet, so I will update as needed.

Update: Bernie is looking at some serious time: Former New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik said Friday that he's ready to fight federal charges of conspiracy, tax fraud and making false statements.

* * *

Prosecutors said Kerik received about $255,000 in renovations to his Riverdale, New York, apartment from a company seeking to do business with the city of New York and concealed the income from the Internal Revenue Service.

The indictment also alleges Kerik made false statements to the White House and to federal officials. [When they were interviewing him to be director of Homeland Security, on Giuliani's recommendation.]

* * *

If convicted on all 16 counts in the indictment, Kerik could face a maximum sentence of 142 years in prison and $4.7 million in fines, prosecutors said.

Kerik won't get 142 years, of course, but if he is convicted of most charges he's got to be looking at over 10 years. And you know the U.S. attorneys are going to be aggressive, because, among other things, Kerik refused to cop a plea. Having blown them off, I'm guessing they are motivated to nail his corrupt ass. Plus the career guys (i.e., not Regent Law School graduates) like to win.

Oh how the mighty have fallen:

Two former body armor company execs indicted for insider trading, fraud. The Trentonian.com reports: Two former top executives of the leading supplier of body armor to the U.S. military were indicted today on charges of insider trading, fraud and tax evasion in a scheme that netted them nearly $200 million, federal prosecutors said.

David H. Brooks, 53, the former CEO of DHB Industries Inc., and Sandra Hatfield, 54, the former chief operating officer, were charged in a superseding indictment with manipulating DHB's financial records to increase earnings and profit margins, thereby inflating the price of DHB's stock.

Does the name David Brooks ring a bell? No, it's not the asshole who scribbles bullshit editorials for the NY TImes. Remember the CEO of the body armor company who spent a rumored $10 million on his daughter's bat mitzvah? Yes, it was him. Wow, karma really is a bitch.